the little girls traverse the floor
by callmesandy
Summary: AU of season 2: Deeks has a daughter.
1. Chapter 1

Not mine, no profit garnered. Thanks to PB for beta advice.

But I'm only thinking of  
A blonde ballerina age nine  
And I am her daddy  
And I'm a cold-hearted man  
All my friends are behind closed doors  
And I watch the little girls  
As they traverse across the floor

-David Baerwald

xx

Beatrice, who was almost always talkative and bright and chipper, clung to Marty's neck. He loved her skinny fingers almost pulling at his hair against his neck, but he did not love that she was suddenly shy. This was her place, her preschool for the last 12 months. It could be the crowd from the fundraiser, there were kids and parents and older kids and clowns and ball pits. Many of which were things Marty didn't find fun, but Beatrice had simpler tastes. Usually.

He liked how she didn't calculate what was the safest way to be, that she wasn't anything like he was when he was four.

He rubbed her chin and said, "What's up, Bee?"

"I don't see my friends," she said.

"Do you see kids you know?" he said.

"Howbout howbout," she said, "we go to In N Out, me, you, burgers, fries. We could, then come back. We could."

He hugged her tight and set her down. "We're gonna stay here."

He was guessing, as always, what was happening in her head. He thought it was the kind of thing that would get easier as she got more words, as she grew up. He'd also been convinced that because she was his baby and he'd held her when she took her first breath that they had some kind of connection. They had a connection, but mindreading it wasn't.

Maybe she did have some coping mechanisms like he'd had in the bad old days when he was a child. That thought made him sad. "So," he said. "You know your time with me, your dad, is not going to run out. If you have fun here, we can still spend time together later." He rested his forehead against hers. "I am not going away."

He couldn't read her mind, but he could tell Beatrice was thinking. He had been away. He'd been Dale Sully and only saw his girl once a month and not for long, and only because Jess knew he'd implode otherwise. And he'd been hurt but now he was better.

Finally, she nodded. She said, "Okay, okay. But first I need the bathroom."

In front of the little girl's room, holding the door open, Marty spotted an absolutely gorgeous African-American woman, late 30s-early 40s, tight jeans, dark top. "Hi, Michelle," he said, reading from her nametag. The next part said her child was Kamran. "Beatrice, you know Kamran, right?"

"Yes," she said, kicking against him as he put her down so she could run into the bathroom. "Kamran, Kamran," she said.

Michelle said, "I've met Beatrice's mom a few times." She looked him up and down. "You are not what I pictured her dad looking like."

"Ella's slightly prettier than me, I mean, just a little, so I think it works out for Beatrice," he said. Michelle smiled.

They walked the girls out to the main area. Beatrice grabbed Kamran's hand and led her away, talking about all the attractions.

"She's making up half of that, if not more," Marty said to Michelle.

"I know, I've heard this before. You know we've had her over for playdates."

"I know, I've just been super busy with work these past few months and I am so glad that is over so I can do those playdates. As to Beatrice and her, uh, creativity, I think we're still in the she's got a great imagination stage and not yet in the we're super worried about her stage. I think. Not that we're both not constantly worried," Marty said.

"I know that," Michelle said. "You always worry."

Marty felt like one of those cartoons where his eyes were big like plates and his jaw touched the ground. He knew that large large man walking towards him. Knew him.

Sam's face looked like he was maybe as surprised and covering it much better. "Dee - Marty, Marty, you actually have a child? Here?"

"You're Kamran's dad? You're Kamran's dad. Wow, how weird is this?"

Michelle said, "Is it weird?"

"This is Marty," Sam said, putting his arm around his way too hot for him wife. "I told you about him, the new guy at work."

Michelle looked Marty up and down again. "You made him sound short."

"I am not short," Marty said. "Did he mean short of speech? Not talkative? Because I sometimes hear that."

"You never hear that," Sam said. "You have a kid?"

"I do," he said. "And so do you. I just have the one. For four years now."

"But you and Ella aren't together," Michelle said.

"Nope, not for four years and two months."

"You broke up with your pregnant girlfriend," Sam said.

"I was dumped by my pregnant girlfriend and it was actually kind of mutual and I have never not been there for my baby."

Sam nodded. "Okay, I get you. Sorry for any implication. But I have to say, I've met Ella. How did you get her to give you the time of the day?"

He said, "We were actually together for more than a year. She gave me many times of many days."

Kamran and Beatrice came running, Beatrice loudly asking for some kind of food. He squatted down to look her in the eye and noticed Sam doing the same for his girl. So that happened. They did the dad thing very similarly.

He said to Beatrice, "You're hungry, we get food." Anything served here at this preschool was sure to be gluten free, macro biotic or vegan or all three.

An hour later, he had Beatrice asleep in his arms and was walking to his car. Sam caught up with him. He said, "I didn't know you had a kid, Deeks."

"As I said earlier, I didn't know you did, either. I guess we must both be really good at keeping secrets." He cuddled Beatrice closer.

"Yeah, but you talk a lot. I'm just surprised," he said.

"I'm mostly surprised that your wife is so way out of your league," Marty said.

"Don't I know it," Sam said. He patted Deeks's arm and headed away.

"So that worked out well," Marty whispered. Beatrice didn't respond. "You know, girl, I didn't think Kamran's dad thought very much of me. But it turns out I have you as my ambassador. Which I would not have realized because I would never use you. Okay, now you go into the car seat." She didn't wake up until he got to Ella's condo, an instance of perfect timing he never expected and always hoped for.

xx

In the desert, Kensi would not stop going on about her perfect father and everything he taught her. He waited for the inevitable and being inevitable she finally said, "What about your dad?"

She looked taken back by the cleaned up version and he wondered how an adult in law enforcement could be surprised at how shitty some parents were to their own kids. On the other hand, this was his partner. His smoking hot partner. He wasn't back on the horse when it came to dating, he still woke up missing Jess. But he would like her to not be repulsed by him. He said, "My kid, on the other hand, thinks I'm great."

"You have a kid?"

"I thought Sam would have told you," he said. "Our girls go to the same preschool, they have adorable playdates."

"Sam has a kid?"

"Huh," Marty said. "Okay, so we should talk about this after we finish here, okay?"

She blinked a few times and agreed.

After they survived the guys with the grenade launcher, rides home were divvied up. Marty ended up in the back seat while Sam drove and Kensi took shotgun. After they got on the road, Kensi said, "You both have kids?"

Sam snorted. "You just had to tell, huh, Deeks?"

"I did not know your daughter was super secret," Marty said.

Kensi said, "We've been working together more than two years." Definitely a little wounded puppy in her voice.

"Sorry," Sam said, not sounding very sorry. "We're secret agents. We have to protect ourselves and our family most of all."

"You were really worried about Kensi selling Kamran's school schedule to North Korea? Because I feel confident saying she would never in a million years," Marty said.

"I agree," Sam said. He was looking at Kensi between glancing at the road. "Really, sorry, I am probably more paranoid than I need to be."

"Okay," Kensi said. "So let's move back to Deeks and his kid. I can't believe you're a father."

"And you would not if you saw his daughter. I only met Beatrice's mom -"

"Her name is Beatrice," Kensi said.

"Beatrice Alda Deeks Cazanga," Marty said.

"Ella Cazanga, the parent I met first, is model gorgeous," Sam said. "Beyond fine."

"She is actually a dancer slash model slash actress," Marty said. "I met her at the tail end of law school, start of being a lawyer. We were pretty serious for a year or so, she got pregnant, relationship fell apart. But I was there in the delivery room and I cut the cord and until I started doing undercover stuff, our physical custody was split half and half. We've made some adjustments since then," he said.

"Ella is not just fine, she's a beautiful goddess. I do not understand the attraction," Sam said.

Marty said, "Technically, she's an Angolan goddess. Ella's big sister hit it big internationally as a model back in the 90s and used her money to get herself US citizenship, then brought her whole family over. Ella was about 8. Do you want to know more, Kensi?"

"Show me pictures," she said.

Marty opened his phone and flicked to the pictures. "The one of the dog is my dog." He handed it to Kensi.

"Wow," Kensi said. "I see what Sam is saying. I mean, this is clearly Beatrice's mother and I feel like I've seen her in something."

"She had a whole scene in Law and Order:SVU. And she's done a ton of videos. Watch a lot of MTV these days?"

"Aww, no," Kensi said. "Your little girl is so cute."

"Looks nothing like you," Sam said.

"Yet, she is mine," Marty said. "It's not a negative she takes after her super gorgeous mom. She's also super smart, though. Which I take a little credit for. She speaks Spanish, Portuguese, Ovimundo, and English."

"Four more than you," Sam said, laughing.

"Hey, I speak three of those. I learned my Portuguese from Ella, though, so everyone I speak it to looks at me like I'm a freak."

Kensi said, "Angolan Portuguese is a pretty distinctive patois."

"And now I want my phone back," Marty said.

"Sure," she said, not giving it back. "Why do you have a picture of you and your daughter in the hospital?"

He reached over and took it out of her hands. "She was two, she got dehydrated from a fever." It was her first trip to the hospital. Her very first visit and she was two and it was nothing anyone had done to her. It was an extremely low bar, like ants could walk it over it low bar, but it was, nevertheless, a bar Marty had gone over.

xx

Marty and Kensi sat across from Jillian Leigh, trying to get her to help them. Marty had a general standard about never telling the truth to people he was interrogating, no real stories, no bonding based on things they shared. Jillian was an exception in that she wasn't an asshole or a criminal, but he still hated doing it. He especially hated doing it when he knew Sam and Callen were watching and who knows who else. On the other hand, she had the information they desperately needed.

He sighed and said, "Look, Jillian, I understand. It's not the same, but from the minute my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, that baby was everything on my mind. Even now, she's four, and it's like this neverending wonderful ear worm, except instead of hearing The Danger Zone in my head, it's her. And people who don't have kids always roll their eyes when we say it, but you do change, it is different, the minute that stick turns blue." He reached out and patted her hand.

Jillian sniffled and nodded her head.

Naturally Kensi waited until the next day when they were in her car, always her car, to ask about it. "That was sweet, what you said to Jillian."

"Thank you," he said.

"And you really meant it, too, right?"

"Wow, that's a nice question. Actually, no, no, I'm not even going to make a joke about how I don't really love my daughter." He stretched his fingers, pushing his hands against each other, and looked out the window.

"Sorry," Kensi said.

"It's okay, I know you're socially awkward and bad with people."

"I am not," she said. The conversation returned to normal.

xx

Kensi's head hurt. She wasn't about to admit that. So she walked with Deeks back to his car. "You have Christmas plans," she said.

"For Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. You're more than welcome to come with me to my Christmas Eve plans."

"With Beatrice?" She leaned against his car while he waited for her to decide. She had decided, but she was going to make him wait.

"I see Beatrice on Christmas Day. The whole family and every person they know in Southern California comes by Ella's mom's house for food and catching up. I get to take her home from that after she has her third dinner."

"But you don't have her tonight," Kensi said. She got in the car.

Deeks shrugs. "I already dropped off my gifts for Santa to deliver. Ella's family does the whole open gifts before bed and then more in the morning, my family never had any Christmas traditions so this way Beatrice has traditions and lots of happy memories."

Kensi wondered about Deeks's unhappy memories of Christmas. She thought about waking up with Jack gone, calling around to find out where he was and nobody knew. She said quickly, "Okay, let's go."

Her head still hurt after they spooned out food at the shelter, but maybe a little less. He drove her home and she meant to protest and wonder how the hell he would get home and she did not want him to take her car, she just stared out the window. Then she said, "Those people seem to like you."

"Okay," he said. "You know, before we make everything about me which I do enjoy, as you know, if you want to talk about anything, like Jack, or whatever, I would do that, too."

"Let's make you happy," she said. She could admit she was sexually attracted to him, but she had no intention of acting on it or going farther like making him her best friend. They were just partners, getting better at being partners. "What are you doing for Christmas?"

"Christmas Day, as I told you, I go to Ella's mom's place and she has everyone she knows over and there's my daughter and then we go home and I have her until New Year's day morning."

"What do they do at Ella's mom's place?"

"Her house?" Deeks smiled over at her. "People come by, eat, watch Christmas movies, and Nollywood movies, the kids are all dressed in cute dresses and tiny suits they will never wear again, the usual."

"Does anyone talk to you?"

"Of course," he said. "I'm not generally super popular because, you know -"

"You're white?"

He laughed. "I am not the only white person there, at all. But I am the only white LAPD officer and it's pretty understandable if they don't think that's, like, instant trust time. You know what I mean."

"I do?"

"You grew up military, you know, people become cops for the same asshole reasons they join the the military: they want to beat people up and be superior." He shrugged. "And it sucks for those of us who want to do good things, but all I can do is act right and not cover up for those shitheads. Probably like your dad did."

"No probably, that's what he was like," she said. "He was a good man."

"I know," Deeks said. "And here we are. I'm gonna call a cab for me inside."

Kensi was too tired to even be embarrassed about the state of her apartment. She went straight to the couch and laid down. She turned on the tv and started watching the CGIS marathon she'd dvr'd last week. Her eyelids felt heavy and itchy.

She woke up and the tv was still on. She had a blanket over her. A blanket from her bed. Ugh, Deeks had been all paternal and covered up so she would sleep. She wasn't sure why she was thinking ugh, but it was Christmas morning and she was responsible to no one.

She watched her marathon, ate ice cream, sourdough slices spread with peanut butter, and a warmed up burrito from Whole Foods. She went through Facebook and wished Merry Christmas to all her people who knew her as Kensi. She napped, she drank beer.

She took out her father's rifle to clean it, her three times a year ritual. (Christmas, her birthday, her dad's birthday.)

Someone knocked on the door. She got up, expecting Callen who never saw through her going out of town excuse. He'd stopped by last year with leftovers from the Hanna house and his own six pack .She wouldn't mind some turkey.

"Oh, gosh," she said. She'd opened the door to Deeks and an over the top unbelievably adorable little girl with her hair in afro puffs. Beatrice was cuter than her very cute pictures.

"Hi," the girl said. She was pressing her legs together. "Can I please use your bathroom?"

"Okay," Kensi said. "It's back there, I can, I walk you." She angled herself awkwardly to block the table where the rifle was.

Deeks said, "And I forgot your Christmas present in the car, be right back. Beatrice, be good."

"Okay," Kensi muttered. She guided Beatrice to the bathroom and opened the door. She said, "Do you need help?"

Beatrice closed the door and said, "Excuse me, I am four."

"Sorry," Kensi said.

She ran back to the living room and moved the beer and was about to cover the rifle when she heard Beatrice calling "Excuse me."

It sounded like excuse me, it could have been accuse me but that made no sense. "What do you need, uh, Beatrice?"

"I can't reach the sink, I need to wash my hands, please."

Kensi opened the door. Beatrice was standing by the toilet, her pink tights in a bundle on the floor. Kensi pushed down the lid of the toilet and helped Beatrice scramble up to stand on it. She was washing her hands when Deeks came in, smiling.

"Always wash your hands," he said.

"Always," Beatrice said.

"Beatrice, this is Kensi, my partner at work."

Beatrice dried her hands on Kensi's lone hand towel and got down to the floor. "Hi," she said. "Thank you."

Deeks nodded. "Now put your tights back on."

"No," Beatrice said. "They're itchy."

"Your grandmother bought those for you."

"I wore them all day," Beatrice whined.

Deeks swooped down and shoved the tights in his pocket. "OKay, but you're going to have to wear them again."

"No," Beatrice said quietly. "Nope." She leaned against Deeks's legs. "Tired, Daddy."

"I hear ya," Deeks said, picking her up. "Let's move this party to the living room." He smirked a little.

Kensi realized she had three bras hanging on the shower rod to dry. Jerk, she thought.

They were all back in the living room when Beatrice said, "Gun," and buried her face in her hands against Deeks's chest.

"Actually, it's a rifle," Kensi said.

"Which is a kind of gun," Deeks said, turning away from the rifle. "And what's the rule about guns?"

"Never ever ever touch a gun," Beatrice said.

"Very good," Deeks said. "And actually, Kensi, we came to give you your Christmas present." He handed her a box wrapped in garish cheap paper with a taped on bow.

"Did you just buy this today?"

"No, and I am offended," Deeks said. "I ordered it two weeks ago, I'm just not very good at wrapping presents."

She opened it without thinking he might be ready to leave. It was two tins of chocolate for chocolate milk. "Cool," she said. "Thank you."

"It's very fancy stuff, I had to order it from Oregon. Maybe if there's any left on the 2nd you can make me a cup."

"Maybe I will," she said. "Thank you."

"What'd you get Daddy?" Beatrice said.

"Hey, Bee," Deeks said. "She doesn't have to get me anything. We don't give gifts because we expect to get one in return. We give gifts because we like people."

Beatrice looked placidly at Kensi's slightly panic-stricken face. How was she supposed to know Deeks bought her anything? Beatrice whispered loudly, "Get him two for his birfday."

Kensi said, "Birthday?"

"It's next week," Beatrice said.

"It's January 8th," Deeks said. "Which is two weeks from now, Beatrice. And Kensi, you don't have to get me anything."

"Got it," Kensi said.

"And now we go," Deeks said. "Merry Christmas, Kens."

"Merry Christmas, Kinsee," Beatrice said.

"Merry Christmas, you two," Kensi said.

She debated texting him an abject apology for the state of her apartment but she thought the text would be more embarrassing.

On the 8th, she did give him two gifts. He said, "You ain't so good at wrapping yourself, princess. But thanks for the two gifts. You really didn't have to; I wasn't just saying that for Bee. I mean, I do always try to convey to her my wisdom and rules on life, but."

He opened the gifts. Kensi said, "I also ordered from Oregon, it's freaky peanut butter. With other stuff in it. And the bee, you know, you call your daughter Bee sometimes, like, just now, so I thought it was like having her picture on your desk. It's just some wood thing I bought -"

"Thank you," Deeks said. He stood up and hugged her. He smelled like the ocean on a really beautiful day. She patted his back and pulled away.


	2. Chapter 2

not mine, no profit garnered. thanks to pb for beta!

* * *

Marty leaned against the railing of Ella's balcony and took the cigarette she offered him. He wasn't even a social smoker, he was a visiting with the ex smoker and only then smoker. "You should quit," he said.

Ella grunted. She put the baby monitor on the floor of the balcony. "I know, whatever. So I smoke a pack a month. Did you want to talk about work?"

Marty thought, today there was a stolen nuke, did you know they call that empty quiver? He thought, we saved the world. At least the country. Instead he said, "You know, the usual. Navy cop beat."

She smiled at him. "So did you save the world and just can't tell me? Blink twice."

"Nope," he said. "I can tell you I had a nice tete a tete with the partner today. We discussed the ways we annoy each other and resolved to be better."

"She's hot, right?"

Marty shook his head. "It's not like that."

"You think she's hot, I can tell. I don't think you're planning to date her and whatever," Ella said. "Ugh, whatever. How did that tete a tete go?"

"It went fine," he said. "It's not that exciting."

"Was it about what an awful conversationalist you are?"

"Only with you," he said. He stubbed out his cigarette and smiled at her. "I should go home."

"So thank you for whatever you did to save us all," Ella said, smiling.

xx

Kensi got off the phone with Callen and arranged Deeks's new private room. Then she sat down outside for a moment to just catch up. Get ready for next steps and put aside the hurricane in her gut.

She looked up to see an unbelievably gorgeous black woman, 5'10", size 4, dressed conservatively except for the 4 inch stilettos. Kensi said, "Are you, um, Ella?"

"You're Kensi," Ella said, nodding. "Marty's in there?"

"He's going to be okay," Kensi said. "Did the doctor tell you?"

"She said something about that, I just, you know, he got shot." Ella stood in the doorway watching Deeks sleep. Ella turned around and sat down next to Kensi.

Kensi said, "You're his next of kin?"

Ella said, "I'm the guardian of his 5 year old next of kin." She smiled, a little. Her lipstick was perfect. Her mascara wasn't running and her eyeliner stayed in place. Kensi could see tiny tear lines in her foundation, but it was otherwise that kind of foundation where you never knew the woman was wearing foundation.

Kensi felt like she was 13. She knew she was beautiful, of course. Kensi wasn't one for false modesty, but she also was never the girl who wore make up, or knew how to put it on. Ella was a step up from beautiful. She was perfectly made up, her manicure wasn't chipped, and she seemed like it was all effortless. Kensi was the worst person, the kind of idiot who envied someone when they were crying and still looked pretty.

Kensi patted Ella's knee. She hoped it wasn't condescending. She said, "Have you told Beatrice yet?"

"No, no," Ella said. "She'll just freak out, even if he's going to be okay. I'm freaking out." She sighed. "I mean, I know I'm not his wife, but I think about it all the time, how they would inform me. He's a really good dad and I wouldn't want Beatrice to not have him."

Kensi remembered what else Callen had said. The shooters had tracked Deeks by figuring out that once a week he always ran along the beach and then followed him to the convenience store. She said, "We think they were after Deeks, I don't, do you know anyone who would want him dead?"

Ella's eyes widened. She said, "I don't know. So I guess people he's arrested? Ugh, he's kind of an idiot, sometimes, I bet he'd tell you his father should be on that list."

"His father?"

Ella pressed her lips together. She said, "Right, he hasn't told you, of course."

Kensi said, "He told me his father shot at him and said he hated him a few years ago."

Ella rolled her eyes. "He's such a liar. Sorry, he really is. I don't think he told me one true thing about himself until I was pregnant. So he's just, he's kind of an idiot."

Kensi ran through in her head everything Deeks had told her. Which parts were lies, she thought.

Ella said, "Marty shot his father when he was 11. Because his father was a, he was abusive and he hit Marty and his mom and he tried to kill them both until Marty shot him. But Marty, I think he thinks of his dad like he's some mastermind who wants to destroy him. So he thinks his dad is so powerful. The guy is probably some sad drunk or he's dead. I always wondered why Marty didn't just do a simple records check to see if he was dead, but I dunno, maybe he wants to have this vision of an evil villain bad guy."

Kensi was sure her mouth was open, but she wasn't quite sure how to close it. She took a deep breath. She said, "Oh. I can look it up, what's the name?"

Ella patted Kensi's knee. It didn't feel condescending, Kensi thought. "Seriously, don't feel bad. He doesn't lie maliciously, he just, I dunno, he just rewrites shit. His life, he rewrites his life. Ugh, the name. So I have no idea. I know Marty changed his name, we talked about it when we were picking names. Gordon, his dad's first name was Gordon. Last name, last name." Ella squinted at the wall across from them. "Brandy? Brandel. It was Brandel. There you go."

"Wow," Kensi said. "That's a lot of information." That made sense with what she'd seen of Deeks.

"Sorry," Ella said. "Sorry. He'll be pissed I'm giving it all away." She smiled a little.

Kensi said, "No exes of yours blame him or hate him?"

Ella smiled again. "Marty's really my only ex. I like dating, I don't like settling down. I'm settled enough with Bea."

"I guess he tells you everyone he dates," Kensi said.

"Eh," Ella said. "Not realy. Only if it's serious, and that's been like twice? Once? Trainor, he really cared about her. But I feel like he's over her, like he's ready -"

Kensi laughed, her awful laugh Deeks hated. "He's been dating for the past three months."

"Yeah, but not seriously. I feel like he's getting ready to be open to something serious." Ella had a knowing smile and Kensi suddenly wondered what Deeks had told Ella about her.

Kensi said, "How did you two even meet?"

"Oh, I shouldn't tell you," Ella said. She smiled widely. "But I will." She laughed.

"So," Ella said. "I was on this video shoot, you know, get the hot 'hip hop' dancers to dance behind the not so tweener anymore so the video is edgy." She rolled her eyes. "After, she takes us all to this strip club, amateur night. All I really want to do is go home and sleep but that video paid well, and I could have used a tour, you know? So then she buys me a lapdance and guess who?"

Kensi covered her mouth so she didn't burst out laughing. She managed to say, "Oh my god."

Ella laughed again. "He used to do amateur nights once a month or every two weeks or so depending on his financial needs. College, law school. He's more cut now with all the cop stuff, but he's always been in pretty great shape, you know? So he has those pretty eyes, and that smile. It was a nice lapdance. And then when I finally left, I saw him outside smoking. And I smoked so I bummed one and I let him have my number. The rest is history, and Bea."

Kensi exhaled. "Wow. I had no idea."

Deeks made a noise and they both stood up. Kensi gestured for Ella to go in.

Later, while she and Deeks went over all his cop enemies, she paused and looked at the ceiling. She said, "Gordon Brandel died in 1998. Don't put him on your list."

Deeks stared at her. She couldn't read him, she didn't know him at all. He smiled and she thought it was forced. He said, "Ella. She does not keep secrets."

Kensi grinned. "Also, I hear you give a great lapdance."

"I am going to -," he laughed. "Okay, she was stressed."

"It does seem super unfair that I know about you, like I cheated," she said.

He shook his head. "It doesn't work like that."

She took a deep breath. "After my father died, I spent some time, I ran away. I was on the streets. So that's one."

"Kens," he said.

"Also I've been investigating my father's death and my mother is alive but I haven't talked to her since I was 15." She looked at her clammy, nearly vibrating hands. "That's two and we're even."

"Okay," he said, his voice serious. "Let's just table of all that. Maybe for a while."

"I like that idea," she said.

"But thanks. You didn't have to."

She nodded.

She came by the next morning with jello for Deeks as a way to say thanks for saving my life, which is after all, your job, but doing it while barely able to stand was above and beyond. Deeks already had a visitor. Beatrice was sitting next to him on the hospital bed with a computer tablet she was using to play a noisy game. Deeks was watching her, the definition of enrapt, rubbing the back of her neck. She left the jello with the nurses.

xx

Marty knocked on Kensi's door with his drinks and food. Kensi's place looked as messy as it had last time.

She said, "Don't you have Beatrice tonight?"

"Actually, no," he lied. He'd called Ella.

Kensi looked skeptical. "I think you're lying." But she walked back to slump on the couch.

They watched America's Next Top Model. He said, "I am never letting my daughter watch this show."

"Come on," Kensi said. "I don't think she'll absorb some bad ideas about, like body image or something." She sounded pleasantly buzzed so Marty considered that mission accomplished. He just wanted her to get that image out of her mind and her eyes back to normal. She'd surely seen someone killed in front of her, so had Marty but it wasn't something you got used to.

He said, "It's not that, it's that her aunt has told me and Ella in detail how much this show is bullshit. This is not how it works for models, for real."

"Oh my god, Ella's sister. Is a real model for real!"

"You're funny," Marty said.

Kensi laid her head back on the couch. She had a strong chin and a lovely profile. She sighed. "I thought Asher was funny."

"Me, too," he said.

She leaned forward and then sideways so her head was on his shoulder. She said, "You're funny. I'd be very upset if anything happened. To you."

"I would be very upset if anything happened to you," Marty said. He eased himself out of from under her. He had a ton of experience in that from Bee. He was well practiced and very adept.

"You're don't want to be my pillow," Kensi said. She sat up straight. "I get it."

"It's not you, it's me," he said. Marty did not want to get a hard on for his partner, literally. He sort of half already did but then he thought about the probable state of her cabinets and refrigerator. It was incredibly un-sexy he was sure.

Kensi smiled and sat back again. "It's okay. I drool when I sleep." She covered her mouth. "I didn't say that." she mumbled.

"I heard it," he said, laughing. He scooted away from her. He waited until she fell asleep and covered her with a blanket. Then he drove himself home.

xx

Marty looked over the front seat to Ray. "Time to get out, man."

"Wait," Ray said. "I can't."

Kensi said, "You aren't really allergic to the squibs, are you?"

Ray snorted. "No. No. Just, okay, Marty. My girlfriend's pregnant. I just found out this morning. Man, you know what this means to me. I want this, like you have. You said family only, but she is family. She will be."

Marty rubbed his forehead. He'd never let Nicole know he had a kid and Ray had found out accidentally. But it was nice having Ray know, Ray was one of the few people who knew him. He sighed. He said, "Kensi, let's head back to the boatshed. Maybe Hetty can work something out."

"Thank you, Marty. I owe you everything."

"You really don't," Deeks said. He looked over at Kensi and they drove back to the boatshed.

xx

Kensi got out of the car when they reached Deeks's place. She was mad and bewildered. Hetty had resigned? Someone else was in charge? She said, "Callen is freaking out."

"As are you," he said. He opened the door and reached down to stop Monty from rushing outside. He deftly grabbed the leash hanging on the back of the doorknob. He put his bag down and pulled the door closed. "Come walk the dog with me," he said. "Not a euphemism."

She sighed but she did it. Deeks just hummed at Monty while the dog ambled around. "Monty had a good day," Kensi said.

"Yes, he did," Deeks said. "Hey, so does Hetty do this resigning thing a lot?"

"No, no," Kensi said. "She doesn't resign willy nilly. Something must be going on."

"Or she's old and ready to retire and didn't want a big send-off and a drawn out goodbye," Deeks said.

"I don't believe it," Kensi said. "It's not like her."

"Okay," Deeks said. "I trust your gut."

She looked at him and smiled. "Thank you. For not trying to talk me out of this."

"You know her better than I do," Deeks said.

"I think she likes you more," Kensi said, laughing.

"I'm extremely lovable," Deeks said.

She looked down so he couldn't see her smile of agreement. She was not getting involved with her single daddy hot ass partner. She was not.

xx

They got back from Romania and Kensi drove Deeks to his apartment. He looked down at his phone and said, "Good, good, drive me to Ella's place." He was smiling.

"You get Bea," Kensi said.

"Get isn't the right term, but yeah, even though I disappeared from view and went flying overseas and got shot at a lot and missed some time I was supposed to spend with her, I can indeed pick up my little girl right now. And if you could then drive us back, since my truck is here." He paused and laughed. "Or I could get out of your car and do it myself which makes way more sense since you don't have a carseat."

"Right," Kensi said. As he got out of the car, she grabbed his hand. "Wait."

He looked at her with that soft look in his eyes that went straight to her panties. He probably gave a really good lapdance even now. She said, "I would, um, I would have gone with the wife thing back there, but, I thought, in the moment, it would be too distracting. For you."

"For me?" He grinned. "For you."

"For me," she said. She was feeling a little brave, and a lot crazy. "For me."

She tugged on his hand and he also leaned in so they practically collided. Then they were kissing, his hands in her hair and she had to unbuckle her seatbelt so she could shift closer and how did someone who just got off that long of an airplane flight smell so hot?

He stepped back and rubbed at his mouth. "Okay, wait. We don't. I think this might be a bad idea."

"Oh," Kensi said.

"For good reasons," he said.

"You have good reasons it's a bad idea to make out with me," Kensi said. She got it. She did.

"I could not, Kensi, you are a force of nature and incredibly hot and I am not going to be able to just have anything casual with you and you don't want to be a stepmom or anything, clearly, so that's my baggage and I'm sure you don't want that," he said. He licked his lips, cruelly.

She exhaled. She said, "I like Bee, I don't hate kids."

"I know," Deeks said. He was already backing away.

"Okay, you're right," she said. "We would not be casual. And we are very good partners. Totally."

"Totally," he said. He moved very quickly and kissed her again, along with a grope of the breast. "Sorry, one last time. You know you're hot."

"Okay," Kensi said. She watched him drive away. "Okay," she said. She needed to go inside to her apartment. "Okay." She got out.

xxx

Marty watched Bea on the floor, on her tummy, drawing very earnestly. She was into it. She didn't even look up when there was a knock at the door.

"Hi," he said, opening the door to Kensi. "It's been, hey, 16 hours since I saw you."

"I was thinking, you know. I was thinking that I don't agree with you about your baggage and how clearly I don't want that. I'm a little angry you think you get to decide that." She stood in front of him, not moving, arms crossed.

"Then I undecide. Sorry to make you angry. But I think my point stands." He moved aside so she could storm into the apartment but she stayed on what Marty called his mini porch, which was nothing like a porch. It was a slightly raised from the sidewalk entrance way.

"I really like you," she said. "I don't, I have not said that to someone, a guy, in a long time."

"Please say you've said it a woman and there's video," Marty said quietly.

"Shut up," she said. "That was hard for me."

"I know," he said. "I like you. But what are we supposed to do with that?"

She uncrossed her arms and stepped closer. He could smell her shampoo. "We should take a chance."

"Look at you," he said. He grabbed her hands. "I have no idea what happens next."

"I think we go inside and hang out with you and your kid and show you I don't hate kids and especially not yours. And then I don't know. I think you have to decide something." She looked at him, all pleading eyes and gorgeous hair. "This has been a lot of boldness for me."

"I know," he said. "You should definitely come inside. Let's go from there."


End file.
